Friday, September 7, 2007

Enough of the heavy stuff

Yesterday was a little on the heavy side. I think that we have had enough for now. On the light side, I created some invitations for a party this week. They were kinda cool and I was mildly entertained. OK, It was probably the highlight of my week. We had 4 days of school and I'm already counting the days. I think because we still are not on a good schedule. It went ok, but we have some glitches to work out. I found out that a 9 year old boy will lose all his friends if he wears glasses, especially on the bus, that bringing a huge carrot for snack at school is weird, and that only geeks and boring people don't go to Cub Scouts or Run Club, or Soccer. Hmmmm..... I guess he is destined to a life of geekhood. I found out that the teacher is mean because he won't let the kids sharpen pencils or go to the bathroom during instruction time, and that getting your picture taken at school isn't cool. The last part I guess I'm okay with since it's kinda costly for a really dumb picture with a really dumb background. We usually insist on buying the ones in the Spring, they have cooler backgrounds. Cooler?! Maybe I should say "better." Actually, I'm okay with all the rules! (So far) I have decided that there is an advantage to living in the country. When I can't get my mower started and my husband is at work, the farm hands like to "help" me out! Which is okay except that it is kind of embarrassing! I usually don't have that problem until the dumb thing overheats. You see, we have a self-propelled push mower (that just sounds like an oxymoron) and a very large yard, and it's on a slant, and it just rained today so the grass was wet, and I was mowing a part of the yard that isn't ours. I started the mower, mowed around the garden, used it to peel apples and make apple squash, and dumped all the contents of the bag into my garden. So far, so good. Then I discovered I needed more grass clippings to dump on the garden to cover and smother all the weeds so that when my dad comes next week, I won't be embarrassed that I haven't weeded the garden in a long time; and the weeds are taller than the plants, or what's left of them. So, I mowed some more, only this stuff was longer and thicker and wetter. Now the mower is clogged and the blade can't turn, so it quits running. I knock off or out the heavy wet grass and attempt to start the mower again. No such luck. Well, here comes a farm hand. I'll just stand here and act like I'm doing something cause it is terribly embarrassing when an independant woman like me can't get the mower started. Ha Ha, here he comes. FH - "What's wrong? Can't you get the mower started? ME - "It's clogged and overheated" FH - "Does it have gas in it?" ME - "Yup" FH - shaking his head in disgust comes over and grabs the handle and the pull-string thing and yanks. And what do you know? It started the first time! ME - glaring and scowling, "Thanks!" So, what's the problem? I'm just a dumb female who can't start her mower! Seriously, the problem is that I don't have emough strength and speed to start the mower hard enough and fast enough. My arms are a few inches too short, my muscles are not "developed" enough, and when I work at it (even tho it's not starting) it yanks my arms off and I get hot and winded, then I get pull-string that's a metal cable burned across my arms. Usually, I can avoid getting help from the superior male and let the mower cool off then it starts right up, but sometimes, I get caught and I have to be properly greatful for the help! It wouldn't be so bad, if that superior male wasn't so superior. If I tell my husband about this problem, he thinks he can fix that problem, too! I mean about the mower. Of course it starts right up for him, too. (I have no idea what's wrong or how to fix it. I'm a girl, you know!) Now there are times when it is to my advantage to be a dumb female. That's how I get other people to do things for me! For instance, "Calico Kid, I need you to help mommy for a minute." "I'm not strong enough to carry this basket of clothes inside the house, you're such a strong boy, I'm sure it won't be a problem for you." OR "HoneyBun, would you carry this for me? It's really heavy." But my favorite is, "You've got to be kidding, I'm NOT going up that ladder for anything. It got itself up there, someone else can get it down!" (I'm terrified of heights!) My kids also think that it's funny that I'm afraid of bugs, frogs, snakes and other creepy crawly, beady eyed critters. = = snicker = = It's not hard to fool them! Most of the time. Sometimes, it's for real, but they can't tell the difference! Okay, except when I go off the deep end and start freaking out and crying and screaming. And my dearly beloved husband thinks it was funny too! Just like him! How does daddy chew the kids out when he's laughing? It wasn't that hard for me, let me tell you! I think I did a pretty fair job of impressing them with how awful it is to throw a huge, hairy, fake, tarantula at Mom when she hasn't slept in 3 days (we were moving in) and she hasn't even seen the stupid thing before, and it landed on her, and creeped her out. For pete's sake, they were chasing me with it! Shudder, shudder. Oh, and my new father-in-law was there. I don't want to know what he was thinking at that moment! Anyway, I get a lot of unpaid help around here because I'm "just too helpless to do it myself!" Of course, I did it all for years, before I got married, so it's not like I can't do any of this stuff. But what's the point? It makes them feel good, or shall I say superior, to "help" me. And I do my share and more when no one's looking!

1 comment:

roniarch said...

Hey, us women got to know how to manipulate the men in our lives and kick back and relax once in awhile! Otherwise, when it matters they will just think we can do it all and they will expect it out of us. We can't have that. Not to say we are weak, but the men gotta be good for something! Oh, yeah, I guess they like feeling needed and appreciated, too!