Wednesday, August 15, 2007
More on Transitions
The question is: How long is it supposed to take to transition from working mom to stay at home mom? For me is has been 13 months and I'm still wondering when I'll get used to it. Not just the staying home part, but the part where I used to have an income but now I don't. I started working when I was 16, which was fine. I worked through college (both times), and I worked when I was married and then of course after I was divorced. Now for the first time in my life, I'm not working outside the home. For the first time, I am dependant on somone else for all our needs. Whoa! That's hard to swallow. It's kinda weird, I love being at home and being a mom, but at the same time, I feel deficient somehow. Of course it's all in my head. But that's what I did with my life before now. So, what am I to do to feel useful again? Well, I started a garden and am doing canning and freezing. I actually have time to spend with the kids and play with them or more like mediate between them. I write letters like crazy in the winter months. I home school Mystery Girl. But it still doesn't seem like enough. Then I watch Dr. O struggle with finance and I feel REALLY bad. He doesn't complain or tell me to get a job. He just keeps plodding along. And I'm really appreciative. But still I'm frustated. But why? I love being home! Of all the transitions, this one has been the hardest. I think is has something to do with how I see self worth. I guess it is really important to focus on the positive or I will make everyone else miserable. That would be bad!