Wednesday, August 15, 2007

More on Transitions

The question is: How long is it supposed to take to transition from working mom to stay at home mom? For me is has been 13 months and I'm still wondering when I'll get used to it. Not just the staying home part, but the part where I used to have an income but now I don't. I started working when I was 16, which was fine. I worked through college (both times), and I worked when I was married and then of course after I was divorced. Now for the first time in my life, I'm not working outside the home. For the first time, I am dependant on somone else for all our needs. Whoa! That's hard to swallow. It's kinda weird, I love being at home and being a mom, but at the same time, I feel deficient somehow. Of course it's all in my head. But that's what I did with my life before now. So, what am I to do to feel useful again? Well, I started a garden and am doing canning and freezing. I actually have time to spend with the kids and play with them or more like mediate between them. I write letters like crazy in the winter months. I home school Mystery Girl. But it still doesn't seem like enough. Then I watch Dr. O struggle with finance and I feel REALLY bad. He doesn't complain or tell me to get a job. He just keeps plodding along. And I'm really appreciative. But still I'm frustated. But why? I love being home! Of all the transitions, this one has been the hardest. I think is has something to do with how I see self worth. I guess it is really important to focus on the positive or I will make everyone else miserable. That would be bad!


Amy said...

I've finally figured out, you probably never really get used to it! I have my ups and downs, times when I really love being a SAHM, but as you know from reading my blog, I am desperate to get out of the house, too. At least you are doing useful things with your time, like the canning. I don't think I have EVER done something domestic, in all my 5.5 years of being a SAHM. How pathetic is that???

Rana said...

I'm not sure how pathetic that is! Actually, I don't enjoy crafts so much and I don't get hardly any exercise. So, I'm left with reading and yelling at the kids. I kinda bullied Dr. O into getting the garden and canning supplies for me and now I have to use them or I'll feel really guilty!

Sheila_T said...

Like Amy said," never really get used to it." It been a very long time since having my own income, and I still long for 'my' money. So, for that reason, I end up trying things like becomming a scrapbook consultant and end up spending more money than I make. I now have come to the conclusion, that it is best to learn, as the Apostle Paul did, to LEARN to be content in what ever state we're in.
Love ya bunches sis.

Charlotte said...

I understand how you feel, Rana. I took some summer classes, so I only worked on Saturdays. However, in August, I've found myself done with classes, kids in school, and still only working Saturdays. How much work is there to do in a single wide trailer? Well, my room's a disaster, but I just haven't found the energy to tackle much of that yet. During the week, I've been doing a little work here and there, playing on the computer, and taking a few naps. I'm looking forward to fall classes beginning next week. Over the past few weeks I have definitely realized that I couldn't stay at home too long without going stir crazy. That's why I'm looking forward to getting my special ed. license here next summer, finding a job, then doing what I've always dreamed of doing. It'll also really help us get out of our pile of debt.

Rana said...

Sheila, that's the key! I think that after we have been on our own it is really hard to be content doing less or seemingly less important things.

Charlotte, I think too, that being busy helps a lot. Being home with nothing to do is worse than going to work and having nothing to do! Of course, theirs always house cleaning, cooking, yard work, and crafting. But, it's hard to get into that sort of thing when you would rather be doing something else!